I love a fair amount of crap of movies and/or TV shows (and MAYBE more) that were once considered great to legendary but have in their later days turned to…..well….crap. So, in this series I aim to pick through the turds of cinema and TV that I still can’t help but love and see if there’s any pieces of “gold in dem hills” (such as acting, writing, under rated characters, good action, good writing, music or quotes and more) or if all that’s left is a giant crater of crap. So join me, my fellow cynics as I delve deep into such decaying crumbling cinematic fossils and tumbling TV shows as: Dexter, Halloween, Supernatural (post season 5), The X Files, Friday the 13th, Roger Moore Bond films and much more. Join me on this adventure, as we both become Indiana Jones of The Junkyard. I hope you come along and don’t mind the smell. Prosit!
Somewhere in time, is a magical movie. I don’t even mean that with any remote trace of irony, or cynicism at all. I really was enchanted by the first, and subsequent viewings of this incredible film and I will now tell you why. The film, has a seeming hypnotic, tranquil and heartwarming quality to it.
It tells the story of, Richard Collier, a young and famous screenwriter, who, meets a mysterious elderly woman, at a party and immediately falls for her. Now, this may be a heavy pill to swallow, but, that’s the kind of thing one must do to properly enjoy this movie.
That isn’t a complaint about the movie either, it’s a REALLY great and original movie. However, it’s vital that you believe, in how much Christopher Reeve falls for this woman. That way, when he goes back in time, you know why he falls for her to truly become enchanted by the film.
Yes, he does go back in time to meet her; although that isn’t a spoiler, but, anything I say about the plot beyond that will be. What you do need to know, is that this is one of the most intimate and whimsical looks at love between two people and it completely sells it.
Christopher Reeve and Jane Seymour have exceptional chemistry, that pops on the screen and Christopher Plumber plays a great third wheel, with questionable alligences and morals.
All in all, this is FAR more then just a lovey dovey date night movie, especially given the novelist who wrote the book the film is based on. I am referring to Richard Matheson, the brilliant writer responsible for the best episodes of The Twilight Zone and much more.
So, with all of that pedigree and exceptional filmmaking and given it’s free right now on Netflix (you cheap bastards you), why the hell not enjoy a 1980’s time travel classic? I hope you enjoy and share the love.
Movies and TV shows have seemingly always been an evolutionary creative medium but lately it seems it’s becoming more of a symbiotic one. Is this a good thing? I think that it is and that shows like Fargo and Hannibal prove that this is a very good idea for creating interesting and original ideas based off of original source material. So, what series do I feel could be the next Hannibal or Fargo or Buffy in terms of being the next big movie to TV adaptations? Read on and find out.
Harold and Kumar: The Animated Series:
Harold and Kumar would be an awesomely, immature animated series and Adult Swim or HBO would be the perfect venue for it. I think it could be like South Park or It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia but with the odd Pendleton Ward style of Adventure Time.
Let’s face it, between Neil Patrick Harris seeing a unicorn while taking magic mushrooms and more, Harold and Kumar left the realm of plausibility a long time ago. Plus, given that Harold and Kumar movies feel few and far between in terms release dates, it would keep my Harold and Kumar munchies in check (weed puns yay).
All in all, it would be the best thing to happen to Harold and Kumar AND Adult’s Swim since they started airing Rick and Morty (since god knows next to that there’s barely anything else worth watching on Adult’s Swim). Plus, it could also usher in an awesome trippy cartoon universe of whacky heroes like Tenacious D, Cheech and Chong, Bill and Ted and many more with massive crossover potential.
Dirty Harry: the TV series
Due to the success of The Americans, this would be a great choice for another period piece action drama. It can also be fairly open ended in terms of its longevity starting as a gritty 1970’s style period piece cop show and going all the way through the 1980’s (and maybe even beyond).
Each season could have a main overarching scumbag that taunts Harry and makes him question himself morally and ethically. Think of the show as a 1970’s era Justified, set in San Francisco with Harry, like Raylan being a cowboy gunslinger in a bureaucratic world.
Similar to The Americans, the Dirty Harry TV show could handle real world historic issues going on in the fictional universe. These events could maybe include; Harry investigating the murder or Harvey Milk or something dealing with the Watergate scandal going on in the background during some episodes. It’d also be super engrossing if they were able to use music from the 1970’s and 1980’s as perfectly as The Americans has.
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang: The Series
If it can somehow ignore the very ending, which kind of makes it sequel or continuation proof I think that if any movie could be an awesome TV show it would be Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. It’s a simple, low budget but exceptionally written, directed and acted semi hidden gem of recent comedies. I think that much like the film that writing and casting the perfect duo would be key for this film. The two actors need to charismatically play humorous disdain for each other while playing polar opposites.
It also needs a witty writer, who understands the shallow nature of Hollywood, while writing exceptional action, comedy and profanity. As far as casting goes Aaron Eckhart could be a great straight man as “Gay” Perry Van Shirke, given that he’s usually great as straight arrow hero type.
Collin Farrell, would be a perfect Harry Lockhart, given his Robert Downey Jresque bad boy image and massively sarcastic characters he usually plays. All in all, it would be a great show for a network like FX or HBO who are great at doing cop shows and dark comedies or Showtime, because I think Showtime is great at making hit shows inexpensively.
Also, while I shamefully haven’t seen much of it, I feel that the dynamic duo of Downey and Kilmer seem to have a similar black comedy banter that Logue and Raymond-James excelled at in Terriers. I think that a buddy cop comedy bringing back that sense of humor and comradery would be great and something I feel TV is sorely missing.
A Nightmare on Elm Street:
Let me start by saying that A Nightmare on Elm Street is one film series I’m a major geek for, so I’ll admit I do have a slight bias here. However, A Nightmare on Elm Street still remains one of the best examples of not JUST horror, but urban fantasy as well.
Also, given that the recent remake REALLY botched up the mythos of the Elm Street franchise by ignoring the creative dynamite that the writers had with Freddy Krueger. Instead the reboot chose to just make a generic cookie cutter remake of the original. a show would really help to remedy this massive mistake.
How couldn’t they make an evil child killer with near omnipotent powers terrifying? Also, the mythos of The Dream Warriors and Dream Master could be great building blocks for not only making a horror series but a fantasy action one at the same time.
A Network like HBO or FX that’s not afraid of making ballsy shows but letting their writers have more control would be an IDEAL network for something like this show. A perfect pilot or first two episodes should be a True Detective style dark origin story for Freddy Krueger. I also would love for the show to develop the parent characters and grownups more than they were in the original movies.
It would also be remarkable if they threw the audience off by changing the orders of the kill count from that of the original or introduce new characters. Also, given the incredibly haunting and psychedelic visionary style of True Detective and Hannibal TV would be the perfect medium to make a vaster, more epic and terrifying dream world or build upon the fantasy mythology of “The Dream Warriors” (kids from Elm Street who learn how to use their nightmares to get super powers to beat down Freddy).
All in all, I feel that TV is the perfect medium for some of these movies to have their stories expanded upon. I find modern television to be largely a creative treasure trove for writers and their original ideas, and while I don’t think cinema is dead I do think that TV could help reinvigorate some of these stories. I hope you’ve enjoyed and feel free to comment and as always share the love.
2. Halloween 2
3. Halloween 3
4. Halloween 4
5. Halloween H20
7. Scream 2
8. Scream 4
11. X-Men First Class
12. Boogie Nights
13. There Will Be Blood
14. Spiderman 2
15. Spiderman 3
16. The Dark Knight
17. The Dark Knight Rises
19. Top Gun
20. Hot Tub Time Machine
21. The Howling
22. Fellowship of the Ring
23. The Two Towers
24. The Return of the King
25. Veronica Mars
1. Stanley Kuberick
13. Richard Linklater
14. Paul Thomas Anderson
15. James Gunn